Search me...(Psalm 139)

What would a blog entry be without a picture of my awesome niece! This is from the beach - she is 3 yrs old now! She is amazing and beautiful and I am so excited to continue to watch her grow up!

Hello friends.

It has been too long! My apologies for the delay in blogging. Much time has passed since my last post and lots has changed. But the most important thing that hasn't changed is the continued pursuit of knowing Christ and becoming a woman after God's heart. God has been doing some great things in my life to teach me about Himself and how to better follow Him and to better trust Him (although I still have lots and lots of growing to do in trusting God and many areas of my life). However it is cool when God does reveal the ways He has been working and to praise Him for His work!!

I have felt like recently God has been revealing to me the conviction in Psalm 139:23-24. Psalm 139 is a beautiful passage. I often call it my "birthday scripture", because I like to read it on my birthday to remind myself that God perfectly scripted my life and who I am. In Psalm 139 it also tells how God searches us and knows us completely. He knows where we are at all times and we cannot flee His Holy presence. Psalm 139:12 says: "even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you". I think there is a really sweet truth to that verse and a very scary truth at the same time. God knows us better than we know ourselves (the good, the bad, and the ugly). Praise the Lord that He loves us while we were still sinners and Christ died for us(Romans 5:8)!

The main verse that has been sticking out to me though has been Psalm 139:23-24. It really describes the intimacy that we can have with the Lord. I think this is something I keep learning - and it is an awesome truth of our relationship with God. As I write this, I am learning and articulating thoughts -- so I am not at all an expert of this. It's a journey (a process) - we have to know that and remember that as Paul urged his friends--"...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Philippians 2:12-13) We are constantly learning and growing. And it is by the grace of God that we grow at all!!

Psalm 139:23-24 is an honest plea from David asking God to reveal the depths of his human heart, thoughts, and actions.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try (examine, test, refine) me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful (idolatrous) way (pattern/course) in me and lead me in the everlasting way."

I think this important truth is before me because I am realizing that I often struggle with being 'honest' with myself about my feelings, thoughts, sin and that I easily put other things above my devotion to God. It is scary to pray for God to reveal the ugliness - but I think only then can we realize our need for a Savior, the precious grace and love that is freely given to us, and allow God to work in us to change us to be more like Christ. To change our lives from the works of the sinful flesh to the works of the Spirit- like the picture in Galatians 5:16-24.

What is comforting is that God already knows what He reveals to us about ourselves and loves us unconditionally as His holy and dearly loved children (Col. 3:12). The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love (Psalm 103).

I am interested to see what God has in store for this lesson/growth in my life. God seems to work out a 'key lesson' in seasons - so we'll see what this season has in store! I do know that it impacts many areas of my life. Being honest before God allows me to be honest with myself and with others about who I am. God calls me to "be crucified with Christ - [and to allow] Christ to live in me (Gal 2:20)" Perhaps this is a step in that direction.

Favorite Song right now:

Hurricane - Jimmy Needham

I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now
I’m only Yours now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZLf--Uc7V0

Books I'm reading:

Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George

I HIGHLY recommend it if you have anxieties/worries/stress about past, present, future. The key verses she highlights and describes in detail and application are Phil 4:8, Matt 6:34, Phil 4:13-14, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Romans 11:33. This book has been/continues to be a blessing for my thought life. As I continue to learn to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Living Beyond Yourself:Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit by Beth Moore

Really cool Bible study on the fruits of the Spirit. I still have a long way to go in the study, but it has been great so far!

Something to pray for:

Grafton HS Young Life - We took a sweet camp trip to Rockbridge in Virginia in July. 8 teens from Grafton High School came and learned more about Jesus' love for them. It is always an incredible learning and growing week. Pray that their lives and the lives of my friends who are at Grafton HS would know and believe the LOVE God has for them. Pray that God would do "more than I could ever ask or imagine" in Grafton HS, the families, and the community! It is His mission and I am blessed to be a part of it. Pray that I would not grow weary in doing good, but to continue to remember the hope that no work done in the Lord is in vain.